One Last One, For My Audience of One

It’s over,
I guess.
It seems you’ve made that clear,
Like over over.
Not that I blame you,
Or want this,
Which I don’t.

We’ve come so far,
You and I.
Since we were those kids,
Sharing a special love,
That unconditional shit.
Growing together,
Together, into our adult lives.

I thank you for that,
And everything in between,
Like the moments of silence,
I needed some nights,
And the days of talking,
I sometimes yearned for,
But you talked anyway,
And I loved that.

I can.
I can feel it.
I can feel it now, like I felt it then.

We were beautiful,
But damned.
I won’t lie,
I am devastated,
Because I should’ve,
Saved us baby.

The guilt consumes,
The dagger blows,
From a heartache hara-kiri,
But memories of your voice,
Continue to talk me off the ledge,

I never got to say goodbye,
But here I go,
Living, in vain,
With a goodbye in writing,
But an I love you in mind.
Goodbye, my love,
Go to him;
And I will live,
Blood in vein,
Hoping one day,
I will love myself,
As much as you did.

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